Purpose

If you've ever felt like you had no idea where your life was going or what you should do next, you'll relate to where I was a few months ago. Moving halfway across the country is not easy. In spite of the fact that I had done it several times before, I forgot how the upheaval felt. I guess it's a bit like having a baby - if women remembered exactly how it felt, it's likely that there would be a lot more families with only one child. But as time goes on, the sharp edges begin to dull and the intensity of our experiences starts to fade a bit. In our minds we remember, but we absorb the feelings into our bodies where they become a part of us. And somehow, although we say to ourselves "this is going to be difficult", when we are faced with the reality of the situation and are knee deep in it, the words seem inadequate to express what we truly feel. As tough as it was on me to leave, the worst thing had to be watching my daughter's struggles to cope with leaving her friends and her childhood home. That has to be one of the worst parts of parenthood - watching your child hurt and being able to do very little to ease the pain.

But the one thing I did have in the midst of the chaos was a purpose. We came here to help my husband's parents as his dad battled cancer. Period. Having a purpose gives life structure and meaning. It may not be the things you would necessarily like, but you know what you have to do, and you do it. In my case I tried to adjust and to fulfill what I had come here to do - to help. I may not have always handled it as well as I could have, but I did my best. And then one day, my purpose was gone. The question loomed. Now what??

The answer to that question began in a most unlikely place. It began in the form of a dog.